Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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