imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
