at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
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