How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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