I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
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