Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Can I color on your dick again?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
