I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Can you bring me the toilet please
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
