Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
