The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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