you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
