I only kidnapped one of them. chill
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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