there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
