well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
