Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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