you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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