Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I am puke
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
