We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
