Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
