It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
