Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
