Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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