I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
