I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize