SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
