I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
