I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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