the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
