Nicole vs. Life
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
