so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
