im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If heβs not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
