nut hugger
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
love makes seman taste better
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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