I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
