Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
