So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
