What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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