I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
