hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
