i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
