ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize