How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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