i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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