Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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