You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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