remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
