Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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