We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
