I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
