We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
