i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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