oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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