You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
