just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize