it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
