i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
