Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
