I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
