I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
as a side note pls kill me
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
