Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
