I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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