you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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