3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
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