I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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