so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
you made out with another girl for some wings
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize
