Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
