There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
